Is It Abuse? Maybe It’s Time to Find Out
🧠 Mental Health, Misused Words – A New Series to Raise Awareness
🧠 Mental Health, Misused Words – A New Series to Raise Awareness
We live in a time when psychological terms are everywhere — on social media, in casual conversations, and even in pop culture. But the more these words enter everyday language, the more likely they are to be misunderstood, diluted, or misused.
This new series is my small contribution to clarity.
Each issue will explore one psychological term — what it truly means, where it comes from, and why using it with precision and awareness matters.
If there’s a word or concept you’d like me to unpack, I warmly invite you to reply and share your request. This is a conversation, not a lecture — and I’d love to hear what matters to you.
🔍 What Does “Abuse” Really Mean?
The word abuse carries weight. It evokes pain, violation, harm. But it’s also a term that has become increasingly broad — sometimes even misused or downplayed. So what does abuse really mean?
At its core, abuse is a pattern of behaviour where one person uses power to control, harm, or violate another — physically, emotionally, sexually, or psychologically. It often involves a breach of trust and a denial of the other’s autonomy, safety, or dignity.
Abuse is not defined only by intention (“I didn’t mean to hurt you”) but by impact.
It is not always loud, violent, or visible. Some forms are silent, slow-burning, and deeply confusing.
💔 Different Forms of Abuse
Physical Abuse
The most recognised form — includes hitting, slapping, pushing, restraining, or any use of physical force that causes harm or fear.Emotional or Psychological Abuse
This includes manipulation, humiliation, chronic criticism, gaslighting, intimidation, and control. It undermines a person’s confidence, sense of reality, and emotional safety.Verbal Abuse
Often part of emotional abuse, this includes shouting, insults, threats, name-calling, or sarcasm used to wound rather than relate. It’s not about conflict — it’s about dominance.Sexual Abuse
Any sexual activity without full, informed, and enthusiastic consent — including coercion, pressure, and exploitation. This can happen even in ongoing relationships.Financial Abuse
Controlling someone’s access to money, withholding resources, sabotaging employment, or creating dependency. It is often subtle and deeply disempowering.Neglect
Especially common in childhood or elder care — a failure to meet basic emotional, physical, or developmental needs. Neglect can be as damaging as active abuse.
⚠️ Abuse Is Not Always Obvious
Abuse can happen in romantic relationships, families, friendships, workplaces, and institutions. It can be chronic or occasional, overt or covert, intentional or internalised.
What makes it abuse is the systemic imbalance of power and the erosion of safety.
🫂 If You Recognise Yourself in This Description
If you're realising that something in your life resembles what you’ve just read — please know: you're not overreacting, and you are not alone. Abuse often thrives in silence and confusion. Simply naming it is a radical and courageous first step.
Here are a few steps you might consider:
Talk to someone you trust — a therapist, a friend, a support line. You don’t have to make big decisions right away; just begin by speaking your truth.
Keep a private journal of what’s happening — noting patterns, incidents, and how you feel. This can help clarify your experience and validate your intuition.
Avoid isolation — abusers often create a sense of disconnection. Try to stay connected to communities, friends, or spaces that feel safe.
Reach out for professional support — healing is possible, and you don’t have to navigate this alone. Therapy can offer a confidential space to understand your reality and explore options.
If you need specific resources, I’m happy to help direct you — even just anonymously. Your safety, voice, and autonomy matter.
🎨 Visual Reflection — Jean-Léon Gérôme, The Snake Charmer
At first glance, this painting dazzles with exotic colours and technical precision. A young boy, naked, holds a snake before a group of older men who look on from the shadows. The room is ornate, yet eerily still.
But look closer. This is not a scene of empowerment — it is one of silent coercion and spectatorship. The boy’s vulnerability is laid bare; his body is objectified, his danger romanticised. The snake — often a symbol of both seduction and threat — winds around him like a quiet warning.
Gérôme’s work invites us to consider how power can be disguised as beauty, control as ritual, and abuse as performance. It’s a chilling reminder that harm often hides in plain sight, especially when silence, awe, or cultural normalisation surround it.
🧩 In Closing
Language shapes awareness — and awareness opens the door to change. Abuse is a heavy word, but naming it is not about blame. It’s about truth. It’s about giving voice to what was once silenced or minimised.
Whether you’ve experienced abuse, witnessed it, or are just beginning to explore what it really means, I hope this has offered clarity — and perhaps a quiet kind of validation.
If there’s a term you’d like me to explore next in this series, I’d love to hear from you. And if this edition stirred something personal, please be gentle with yourself. Awareness is a courageous place to begin.
With love,
Francesca